"Of course, you've heard the story of the New Orleans Fern Society, haven't you?"
(John's friend to a rapt audience)
"Oh, you should have just seen her corpse. Who ever did it did a beautiful job.
(My mother to me, over Christmas dinner.)
"His mother was a world champion bridge player. She played with Omar Sharif...and Eva Peron."
(John over pizza last night)
"Oh no indeed. Weave is the devil's horsetail. I do not believe in all that."
(woman in Dollar Tree to friend)