My mother:
"You want a brownie?"
Me:
"Ok. Thanks. Why'd you make brownies?"
Mother:
"Oh, I brought some over to the new neighbors yesterday,
just to welcome them to the neighborhood, you know."
me:
"Really?"
Mother:
"Yeah. I just thought that woman there, the mother, was anorexic.
But she's butt ugly too."
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12 comments:
I am loving your mother!
your mother is delightful, sugar! all she needed to do was preface her remarks with bless her heart xoxoxo
Does your Mother's brownie recipe have magical beauty properties too? That will cure the terminally 'Butt Ugly'? What if she added marijuana?
Honey, that is as Southern as it comes.
That is so thoughtful. Ugly people need love too.
Phffft! Reminds me of what my mom (who is the original 'church lady' and who never says anything bad about anyone) said to me at our family reunion earlier this year.
She pulled me aside and coyly said, "Corey, I've never seen so many ugly people without teeth in my life."
I fell out right there.
My mother would have said something like « Oh Darling, you are so thin. Marvellous. Unless, of course, you have Aids...»
Amazing. My mother's neighborhood rival was anorexic.
This reminds me of this line from The Informers: You're tan, but you don't look happy.
your mother's hot shit.
Can't pull anything over on your mama.
I saw Swamp People the other night! They was huntin' gators.
I want to play your mother in a sitcom!
How, um, caring of your mother, Jason!
-Dean
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