Sep 30, 2008

tales from the trenches, part 931

A little while back, I met a guy who'd answered an ad of mine. He was (is) a cute, very nice young lawyer. We had a splendid first date. He insisted on paying. He insisted on going out for drinks afterward (and paying). He seemed interested.
We had a second date. I paid. It was lovely. I asked for a third and got this:

Hi Jason,
How are you? I feel like I'm still playing a bit of catch-up here as well. The hurricane really set me back.

Not to create an awkward situation, but I've actually started seeing someone. We met several weeks ago.

You're a really nice, intelligent, handsome guy-- just thought you should hear it!

Have a great day,


A few thoughts ran through my mind:

1.Again? WTF?
2.Is this whole "met someone else" stuff just some kind of euphemism?
3.I need a nap.
4.How the hell do these guys meet someone so quickly and easily?
5."Have a nice day"?
6.Maybe I should make some money here.
Go on a single date with me and there's a 60/40 possibility of meeting the love of your life in less than a month. Guaranteed!
More effective and cheaper than e-harmony.
7.Whatever.
8.When is that whole "He's Just Not That Into You" movie coming out anyway?



9.Should I even attempt the first date I have tomorrow?

Sep 29, 2008

hercules and love affair



Totally gay...like Bronski Beat and Sylvester had 15 minutes of low-self-esteem- fueled butt sex in an upscale public bathroom and gave birth to this on the dancefloor.

But I love it.
I've been listening to it constantly in various permutations for about six months now.

Sep 26, 2008

Overheard, while subbing in American History:



"Hey, my auntie told me she saw your daddy the other night."
"Yeah?"
"She was at a bachelorette party. She say he did good.
(cackle of laughter)
"What his name again...Chocolate Hurricane?"
(bigger cackle of laughter)
"Yeah"
(rolls her eyes.)
"We ought to hire him for my birtday next week! You think he do it?"
(cackle of laughter)
"Prolly"
(Chocolate Hurricane's daughter snorts)

"'Shut up girl, I got to pay for your tuition!'"
(Chocolate Hurricane's daughter imitating a deep male voice)
(Another cackle of laughter)

Sep 25, 2008



Wishing Mr.Peenee and his R-man the best today!

Sep 24, 2008

Cloris!



So I've noticed around the web, that my dear beloved Cloris is appearing on some god-awful "dancing" show. It pains me to even write that sentence, but I refuse to sully my image of her by watching it. No.

The only good thing is that it keeps her legend out there.
Recently, during the days-of-no-electricity, I was loaned a small battery operated dvd player. I had brought my boxed set of MTM's first season.

I can't tell you how Phyllis's bitchiness soothed my (hot and) troubled soul.

My friend Geronimo once told me a long list of all the celebrities he'd met
(Madonna, etc. zzzz) I had half dozed off until he mentioned that he'd worked as Cloris's assistant for a night.
I had to ask to touch his hand.

Sep 23, 2008

K.D. Lang is gay!



What a shameless ploy for publicity and a "renewed" career. He really does make my stomach turn...for so many reasons.

Sep 19, 2008

"missed connection" indeed.

I couldn't even make something like this up if I tried:


If you are this man...... - w4m (New Orleans)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-847319901@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-09-19, 2:44PM CDT

or have seen this man please contact me.
I have a great suspicion that he is my soul mate and that we will be happy forever after.....

I made him on my computer so this may be a long shot, but I know in my heart that this could become a reality.




with her sanity

Sep 18, 2008

I admire his frankness and openmindedness...

From the "Strictly Platonic" section by the way.

Woman with Hair - m4w (new orleans)

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-845379285@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-09-18, 6:59AM CDT

I'm looking for hairy woman, young girls, middle aged girls and older are a turn on too. Want to talk mostly, have always liked it. Hairy legs are nice, however armpits is really what gets me going. I am in no way saying that woman should not shave, but the ones that don't, do have my attention. I like them and I like being with them.


Be sure to note that if you want to shave, there's nothing wrong with that to him.
No sirree.

Sep 12, 2008

a conversation with my mother a few minutes ago:

Her: "Do you have power?"
Me: "Now? Yeah."
"It's still out over here. It went out this morning at 5. It's hot."
"Do you want me to bring you over here?"
"No. That wind is too bad. We might be blown off the bridge."
ahem
"I just don't know what I'm going to do about the doctor's appointment, though"
"You want me to go and bring you?"
"No. It's too much wind."
ahem
"I really need to get the prescription filled. I'm about out."
"Well, can't she just phone it in for you or something?
"No."
"Why not"
"Oh, I don't know. Some bullshit. She says it's a 'narcotic' or something, and I have to 'see her.'"
"Which one is it?"
"ummm....methadone, yeah, that's the one."

So, of course, now I'm on my way to bring her there.

goddammit, Anna Mae

Last night, about 10, I woke up in a hot sweat.
(No, not from that)

The power was out.
Again.
This morning, after it had come back on, reading the news, listening to the wind rattle my windows, I realized that a good bit of the city lost power with me, even the airport.

Anyway, the good news is that I don't have to go to work today.
woo hoo!
The bad news is, I don't think I'll be able to get out of the house, but I'll try.

Actually, it's rather hurricaney looking out there today for something that's so far South of us.
I shouldn't complain, since my relatives down the bayou have been without power for more than a week still. It may be a month before it's restored. I spent nearly a week in a trailer in the woods without power/AC/phone service/tv last week, and I'm in no mood to repeat that experience. I think I'm still recovering from that.

Sep 9, 2008

Did you know...

A gallon of skim milk, left in the refrigerator of an apartment in a Southern city without electricity...for a week or so...in September....will turn to something vaguely resembling a huge, white-petalled rose of a cottage cheese-like substance floating atop a pale, opalescent liquid?

I didn't.

Sep 8, 2008

Sep 7, 2008

So (2)

I'm finally home.
The power's finally on.
It's very hot.
More later.