Oct 30, 2007

Pye



Today is my cat's unofficial birthday. Sometime around the fall of the Berlin Wall, walking down the street, I found a kitten, lost. She followed me home...for two whole blocks.
I never intended to keep her, but let's get real...how could I resist?

Seeing as it was the day before Halloween, and she was orange and black (a calico in fact), I named her Pyewackett, after the cat in "Bell, Book and Candle."

(I've only met one, count 'em one, person who's ever gotten this reference by the way. If I had a penny for every time I've been asked to explain her name, only to watch a face suddenly glaze over in boredom by the third word...)

Anyway, in my mind it was a stereotypical name for a witch's cat...plus it was a (silly) play on the word "pied," which she is.

She's never been called the full name by the way, only ever "Pye," not that it much matters what you call a cat.

Here she is in her youth. She's now a bit slatternly and obese, but then aren't we all?
Just the same, I think she's still a natural beauty.

Oct 28, 2007

voodoo

Tonight, I can hear the music drifting into my bedroom on a cool autumn wind.

Again.

Oct 27, 2007

just in time for halloween




"According to Australia's The Age, the above-pictured skirt looks like a pretty red dress under normal circumstances, but when flipped inside out over the wearer's head turns into a pretty dead-on soda machine disguise -- the perfect foil for some mugger or more violent criminal (at least in Japan, where street crime is rare).

Other fashion-forward, crime-prevention accessories the article cites are wraparound sunglasses so dark you can't make eye contact with perverts on the subway, and a "manhole skirt" that folds up all your valuables into something that looks an awful lot like a manhole cover, which you then place on the street should a criminal step into view"


read the rest here

Oct 25, 2007

"ain't nothing goin on but the rent"

Just because it's what almost always automatically comes to my mind when someone asks me "What's going on?"

Sometimes, like today in class, I slip up and say it aloud.
Thank god I have students who understand.

Here's the wonderful Gwen Guthrie:

Oct 24, 2007

"bitter old queens"

Just read this at Band of Thebes.
It's too early for April Fools, so I'm supposing it's on the up and up. Hmmm....
I'm not sure how I feel about this:

New TV Series: Bitter Old QueensRussell T. Davies who created Queer as Folk in Britain and is enjoying vast success with his revamped Doctor Who series told the Guardian that he is planning a new gay series for the BBC.

"It's going to be about forty-something gay men and how jealous they are of gay teenagers," Davies said in an interview. "I've been longing to write something for adults."

In the interview, Davies said that the inspiration for the new drama is a friend, a former Mr Gay UK, who split up from his boyfriend.

"He asked me: 'Why are so many gay men so glad we split up?' That remark's stayed with me for six years. I think there's a self-punishing streak in that gladness and I want to explore it."

The series, still untitled, will air in 2010.


I mean, there are many many things I'm jealous of, but gay teenagers are definitely not one of them. I remember all too well being gay teenager, and there wasn't much to envy there. And besides, being around teenagers every day, one quickly learns (or relearns) that it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Oct 20, 2007

overheard today in biglots

"1 2 3 4 5 6 9 and 10"
(Feist's "1234" being played overhead)

"Did you hear that?"
Woman tells an older man indignantly...in a thick westbank accent.

"Wha?"
"Dat..dat song....'1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10,'" she continues. "Children gonna hear dat and learn dat wrong."

"Yeah."
The old man agrees laughing.
"Ain't no wonder dey so dumb nowdays, huh?"

Oct 18, 2007

float on

"Libra, and my name is Charles
Now I like a woman who's quiet
a woman who carries herself like
Miss Universe."




Only one of my favorite songs of all time.

my first meme

Since Buffalo Void tagged me with my very first meme, here are my (rather dull) answers:

Taken a picture completely naked? No one needs that.

Made out with a friend on your MySpace/Facebook page? Who wrote this, a twelve year old girl? (Not yet)

Danced in front of your mirror naked? No one needs that. (Yes)

Told a lie? Maybe.

Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Oh dear...all too much.

Been arrested? Almost...once. I dared a cop to arrest me. Thankfully he was intimidated enough by my craziness to not do it. He wasn't even cute.

Made out with someone of the same sex? Again, who wrote this? (Not nearly often enough)

Seen someone die? Yes

Slept in until 5pm? No. (4:59? Maybe)

Had sex at work? No. Not even an erotic thought.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Where I work, you sleep, you die.

Held a snake? Yes

Ran a red light? Yes

Been suspended from school? Nope

Totaled your car in an accident? Yes

Pole danced? Smoked? No. Yes.

Been fired from a job? Not quite. I was laid off once. And then Katrina came and I lost my job because the place was destroyed.

Sang karaoke? Yes. On a tabletop in fact. I believe it was to a medley of Cheryl Lynn and The Smiths.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes (answer a meme?)

Laughed until a drink came out your nose? all the time.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? is this a euphemism? (yes)

Kissed in the rain? No (but that does sound nice)

Sang in the shower? who hasn't?

Given your private parts a nickname? I'd rather a sobriquet.

Ever gone out without underwear? No one needs that.

Sat on a roof top? all the time

Played chicken? ridiculous.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No

Broken a bone? Popped one? Broken? No. Popped? I'm not sure.

Mooned/flashed someone? No one needs that either.

Shaved your head? Not yet.

Slept naked? once or twice. Not all it's cracked up to be.

Played a prank on someone? all the time.

Had a gym membership? No

Felt like killing someone? Not really

Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? No, and that's the sad part.

Cried over someone you were in love with? Yes

Had sex more than 10 times in one day? maybe

Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? I did actually!

Been in a band? I wish.

Subscribed to Maxim? Who wrote this?

Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? at once? No

Shot a gun? Yes

Had sex today? No

Played strip poker? No

Tripped on mushrooms? No

Donated Blood? Yes...and even had to lie to do it (they refused to accept blood from gay men)

Video taped yourself having sex? No one needs that.

Eaten alligator meat? Frog legs? Of course

Ever jump out of an airplane? No

Have you been to more than 10 countries? I wish.

Ever wanted to have sex with a platonic friend? Not really


leTigre meets Jem and Mr. T.

In honor of Mean Dirty Pirate's
JemCon 2007, here's something I bookmarked months ago.

It's a video for one of my favorite songs, Deceptacon by LeTigre, as "done" by Jem and the Holograms:


just for fun, here's another homemade video of the same song, but as remixed by DFA:

rain day

I have a surprise day off...
yipee!
(But it's not completely unexpected.)

There's tornadic activity out in the East, and I suppose tornadoes and half-built poorly constructed portable buildings don't go together.
Thankfully someone was using her head this morning. It's not safe out there on a normal day, let alone one like today.
Since Katrina we've had an unusual number of tornadoes around here...one of which killed someone earlier this year, right near there.

It's still pretty nasty out there, but I think I'm going to take my lonesome to a matinee...perhaps Elizabeth: The Golden Age.

I loved the first one, way back when. I even showed it to my class last year (quite unethically...or something)...but who cares, they loved it. Upon rewatching it, however, I realized its weaknesses.

And I hear this one is not very good...but again, who cares, it's all about the costumes for me.
I'll see anything with a costume.
I can't wait to see Cate in white face. That's worth the ticket price right there.

And don't get me wrong, Clive Owen is sex on a stick, but I'd like to see Joseph Fiennes again. I wish he were in it.

I have a feeling he's probably batshit crazy, but there's just something about him that I can't resist. (gratuitous photo here)

Oct 16, 2007

Mom's (not so) secret crush

I'm checking my email and see a link for this article, with the provocative title "Mom's Secret Crush"
The article is less than provocative, however.

But it did get me to thinking.

Growing up, I remember my mother having a few celebrity crushes, none of which really ever made much sense. For some reason, she was enamoured of Tom Jones.
She had all of his albums, and his hirsute chest always seemed to be following me around the house....like a puppy.



Then there was Martin Sheen. Whereas she thankfully gave up Tom Jones years ago, she still maintains a crush on Martin. Can't say I blame her either.



And John Derek (whom she never failed to mention "had been beautiful" before presumably he met Bo and everything went downhill). He seems to have been a crush from her teenage years.



What's even more ironic is that my mother used to make fun of her own mother for her (my grandmother's) crush on none other than 70s pretty boy John Davidson (whatever happened to him, I wonder?) My grandmother had a taste for the young pretty ones, I guess.



So, is my mother just a raging boycrazy hussy, or did your mother have crushes too
(not that those two are mutually exclusive questions)?

Oct 14, 2007

hang up

"that's the girl you hate."
Big Edie (the birthday phone call)



(thank you, pipedreams)

Oct 13, 2007

dizuble dizutch

Here's a video of the aforementioned Frankie Smith classic
(made by a drawing class it seems):

a few random things done lately:

1. A Sunday with my friend Rudy at the home a certain local society doyenne. I'd heard of her from the society pages, but never known exactly what she had done. I still don't. Rudy tells me that her claim to fame is that thirty or so years ago she went to 22 (of the right) parties in one night once. And that's how one is launched into society I suppose. Who knows.
It was held in her courtyard in the Marigny, complete with pool. Scattered among the middle aged women were a number of minature dogs and even more miniature gays.
The afternoon devolved into a game of guess the hairpiece, which is pretty fun.
It was touted as a "Latin American writers salon" whatever that means. It consisted of listening to a few writers reading from their work and a lot of awkward small talk. One of the writers, a middle aged woman with the same name as my mother was dressed in a kitten costume (this was the first week of October by the way, and decidedly *not* a "Latin American Literary costume salon") who, feeling the compulsive magnetic attraction all middle aged women with the same name as my mother must feel, decided to corner us and advise us on "getting an agent." Everytime I looked up she was there again, advising us on "getting an agent." Because of the kitten ears, I was skeptical of her skill, but her story, part of which she read was actually pretty good. There was also a poet, looking a bit like Janice from "The Muppet Show," who read a poem in a deep baritone about her sex life with the extended tedious metaphor of Columbus "ravaging" the New World. That's when Rudy thankfully gave me "the look," and we could finally leave the bad margaritas and stilted small talk.

2.Went with Rudy again to the Hi Ho Lounge on St. Claude...to see two very short plays by his friend. Both were all right....nothing spectacular. One was about vultures eating shit. I'm not kidding. I think it was a comedy, but I'm not sure. The bar was pretty nice, however.

3.My first ever trip to an auction house. We walked up the stairs and right into a scene from a movie, paddles, auctioneers and all. Dennis' (with whom I went) friends (a young married doctor couple) had bought two really lovely charcoal drawings of nudes, framed, for $150 each. I was jealous. They missed out on a Chagall print (signed) also framed for $230. Not bad.

4.Went with a friend to a bar deep in uptown the last night. The bar is a straight bar except for a few hours on Friday, then like Brigadoon it changes back into an upscale fratboy bar. Michael, I think, had told me of this bar years ago, but I hadn't believed him. I thought it was just an urban legend. But it seems that it is true. It was actually pretty nice there. The music was different from your typical re-remixed divas. There was a bit of Marvin Gaye, the Frankie Smith classic "The Double Dutch Bus" (!), and some fairly innocuous other tunes, nothing earth shattering, just different. The crowd seemed made up of a mix of wealthy gay couples (one of whom I talked at length to, with his partner, celebrating their 17th year together that night) and a number of cute college boys. He's an artist being supported by his boyfriend, the engineer it seems. He went on and on and on about Hilary Clinton and thank God I'd had five rum and cokes by then or I think I might have gone insane. More thankfully still, Brigadoon turns back straight at 9, so there was an excuse to leave and eat.

Oct 11, 2007

overheard

"You know Treneisha's brother?"
"Yeah."
"He name his baby Muhchunkie"

"Girl, that's just too ghetto"

"Yeah. His other girl name is Buhgrona"

"That's pretty."

Oct 9, 2007

are you a pimp who likes wild bikini briefs and smoking pot?

Well then JC Penney's is the place for you.

Here's a selection from their 1975 catalog:








Thanks to Michael for "turning me on" to this site

Oct 8, 2007

absolutely gratuitous

Ok, so I catch a whiff of desperation on his part, but who am I to look a gift horse in its ass?

Here's Tom Ford and his sexy self gracing OUT magazine (is that new perfume selling I wonder?)
Again, who cares?



Yoko in the morning

I'm driving around in my new Mazda Miata rental...missing my battleship of a car, but enjoying the cd player.

I drove to work with Yoko Ono this morning. I found two clips of "Walking on Thin Ice," which is a great song.
I don't know which one I like better...the remix or the original, but I'm leaning towards the original at the moment.



Oct 7, 2007

idle wondering...

Today, perusing our local Craigslist's Missed Connections, I stumbled upon this post.
It hit a chord because I know I could have written just the same thing when I was 25 myself, right down to the histrionics.
(Ok, ok, who am I kidding, I could have written it myself yesterday, with even more histrionics...well, almost):

opportunity - m4m - 25
Reply to: pers-442254448@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-07, 1:10AM
I must be ugly.

This is the thought that immediately runs through my head at 12:43am on a Saturday night (or is it Sunday morning?) as I sit on my couch with my laptop and a soundtrack consisting of...well...what most would call a lesson in depression.
So, I must be ugly.
Or is New Orleans ugly?
I think it has the potential to be. I've lived here for two years and, despite all my best efforts, I come up empty handed every time. That's not to say I haven't dated people here; sure, I've done that. It's simply that the results have been less than appealing.

I learned in college that there are three types of guys: 1) the guy who expects a blow job on the first date and gets it (this will not be a long-term arrangement); the guy who expects a blow job on the first date and doesn't get it (this one probably won't work either); and 3) the guy who doesn't expect a blow job on the first date, but would still really really like one. He's also the guy who wouldn't push the issue unless it's been made clear that the other party involved thought that this particular number 3 was actually a number 1 (this has the most potential for a long-term arrangement).

As the third type of guy, I feel like a fish out of water in this here city.

So, more likely than not I'm an ugly prude who should give up this game and, in finding a life of fulfillment practicing the art of solitude, enjoy my job ringing the bells at St. Louis.

Some might say there is a lesson of fortitude in all of this. I, however, am not one of those people. The wall of my constitution is crumbling steadily and, looking up to meet the gaze of a handsome stranger, I lack the confidence to begin a conversation. I look away and find myself the king of missed opportunities.



Tonight, I see some smart ass has written him a reply (why not send it to him directly I don't know):

re: opportunity - m4m - 25 - m4m - 35

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: pers-442876415@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-10-07, 8:44PM CDT

Well if you stopped behaving like a straight girl you might be happier. Why the hell are gay men adopting 'values' that were only meant to suppress women? WTF? Blow job on 'the first date'? Are you for real? Why would you go out with someone you didn't want to sleep with? Suit yourself, though ...


Now I think 35 year old here has a point in there somewhere...but then again, I don't know.

I was all set to write a response to them both, but instead I had some ice cream.

The thing is, this 35 y.o. seems to assume that all gay men (or all straight women for that matter) are the same. I don't think they are.

I've always envied those straight men, those gay men...and yes, those straight women (and I do know a few) who can enjoy casual sex.

Way back when, I tried it, very briefly. Didn't work for me...not at all.
I wish it had. So this boy and I and (surprisingly a number of straight men too I've met) trudge out here alone it seems.

But the 35 year old makes me think again...are this boy and I holding on to a demented heterosexual stereotype that is "designed to suppress women"? I've actually heard this argument before....
or is it that some people, gay, straight, male, female, whatever, are just not built for casual sex?
I don't know.

snippet overheard

Tonight I went to a housewarming party at my friend Geronimo's out in the Marigny. His roommate is moving back to L.A., so it was also a going away party (all too many of those nowadays)

It was all pretty low key.

Nursing a rum and coke, loitering over the vegetable platter, I overhear:

"Yeah, I always carry an icepick in my purse. Wanna see it?
Ever since I was shot,"

The 60 something pre-op trans-sexual lesbian/former Navy man tells the cute young lesbian couple on the couch.

"My son says I ought to move. He's stationed up in Virgina. He's a big Saints fan."

Oct 6, 2007

"raise your aim..."



I don't usually disagree with the gals at Go Fug Yourself, but I don't know if I completely agree with their fugging of Adrien Brody.

I mean, sure, he does look a bit Elvis-y here...but I like it.

When I saw this pic from the premiere of the Darjeeling Express, I thought, "Wow, he looks hot!" and I'm not even that much of a regular passenger on the Adrien Brody Express, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, it took me a while to figure out why I liked this outfit so much, and then I realized it.

It's 1982, and all I want is to have Martin Fry's gold lame suit:



I'd be wearing it now if I thought I could carry it off.

(this video, by the way, is one of the keys to my adolescent soul)

Oct 3, 2007

further funeral home news



In more funeral home news, I just read that the old Bultman Funeral Home will be converted to a Borders bookstore.

It's been empty since Katrina. I remember going to a few funerals there. It was beautiful, like a rambling plantation, a bit frayed at the edges.

What I hadn't realized was that had hosted services for both Jefferson Davis and Jayne Mansfield in its 120 years.

Now, instead of stale coffee from those ancient coffee urns, I suppose there will be overpriced frappuccinos from surly grad students.

Doesn't matter, I just want to be able to read a copy of US magazine on the spot that Jayne Mansfield's corpse once lay.

Oct 2, 2007

fun with transcription

Here's a fun video I found by way of Lady Bunny. It's a Bollywood music video, to which someone put his own English subtitles.
Hilarious.